Changing is hard. It takes effort. And depression can certainly make it so that you don’t have motivation to do anything. Getting out of bed is hard. Because that negative voice keeps you down. And it’s just easier to wallow than change.
Forget about achievements. Forget about winning. Winning means nothing if you don’t learn something from it. It means fuck all if you haven’t grown from the winning you’ve done. And maybe you’re over-valuing what you lack and not valuing what you actually have.
Have you ever finished a project and felt empty? That’s because you were only focused on the outcome and not the journey. You have to listen to that positive voice, because it’ll give you hints. But you can also work with the negative voice.
Last year, I spent way too much time on Reddit. I lurked in AskReddit threads, reading through such posts as, “What’s the smallest thing that pisses you off to no end?” and “What’s your crazy neighbor story?”
I began to bond with these strangers over mutual suffering, frustration and anger. That lead to a period of extreme bitterness where everything and everyone annoyed the fuck out of me. I was angry all the time. From the moment I rose to the moment I went back to sleep at night. That’s no way to live. My values and morals were structured around the annoying things people do.
What do you think happened? No one wanted to hang out with me, because I had nothing good to say. There’s no point in living that way. Tragedy and irrationality need to be balanced with goodness and growth. Otherwise, you rot.
Just remember, it’s not about being hard on yourself, it’s about your productivity.
Stay tuned. I just started Chapter 5, so I’ll be back soon!
Peterson, J.B.. (2018). 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote for Chaos. Canada: Penguin Random House.